By Torry Stiles
10. If you’ve never seen a Speedrome Figure8 race, I suggest you grab a handful of Xanax and come check it out this summer.
9. They made a big deal about people getting shots at the Speedway. Heck, I’ve done lots of shots at that place.
8. The Speedrome has already started their season. It is the track’s 80th anniversary. There’s been a lot of action on that track and sometimes even more in the parking lot.
7. Nothing sadder than the race car driver with the talking GPS. “ Turn left now. Turn left now. Turn left now. Turn left now. …”
6. Try to stay friends with that guy down the street who has the race car: there’s a good chance he knows somebody with a tow truck.
5. The Marion County Health Department is all worried because once the drivers put their helmets on, they can’t tell if they’re wearing their masks.
4. Racing is a multi-sensory experience. You feel the rush of the wind on your face, hear the roar of the engines, smell the burning rubber and taste the kitty litter on your hot dog.
3. It doesn’t seem right to hear they’re sneaking around and practicing at the Speedway with nobody watching. I remember when they’d get 10,000 people in there just to watch the tire trucks unload.
2. They’re putting in a real quarter-mile dirt track at the Marion County Fairgrounds. We’re bringing in eight cylinders and four-bangers instead of nine millimeters and gang bangers.
1. Race fans don’t care what color you are, what god you worship or who you want to love. All we ask is that you bow your head when talking about A. J. Foyt or Dale Earnhardt.