By Torry Stiles
10. “I’m out here waiting. You said you’d pick me up at 6 p.m.”
“Who is this?”
9. “How will I know which one is you?”
“I’ll be out front with a cardboard sign.”
“I’m out front now, and the only guy with a cardboard sign is the guy standing in the median.”
“Hello.”
8. “I’m here for our date.”
“I’m upstairs.”
“But this is the county courthouse. I don’t know you well enough to stand before the judge yet.”
“You’ll be fine. I need $500 to make bail. Third floor.”
7. “This is my sweet Mister Fluffykins. He doesn’t like you. You bleed too much.”
6. “Hello. This is Josh. We had a date.”
“Who’s that with you?”
“That’s my mom. Wouldn’t give me the money unless I brought her.”
5. “You’re a lot skinnier on the internet.”
4. “Is this your car?”
“For now. Keep an eye out for cops, and we’ll be fine.”
3. “Wow, you live in a nice neighborhood.”
“My husband has a great job.”
2. “You’re not, like, one of those book-reading smart girls, are you?”
1.”I’m hungry! Whatcha got to eat?”