Top 10 things you do when the wife is in Las Vegas for a week

By Torry Stiles

10. Test that whole “don’t wash the white clothes with the dark clothes” thing.

9. Barbecue sauce fixes every meal.

8. Keep the drapes closed when dancing in your boxers.

7. Be sure to text her a “Good Morning!” when you get up since their clocks are like three hours behind and it’ll hit her phone at 4 a.m.

6. Buy new white bed sheets before she gets back.

5. Eat straight out of the pan while leaning over the sink and you cut total clean-up time in half.

4. Golf, “South Park,” wrestling, Kung Fu movies …. the TV is yours.

3. Now’s your chance to grab a Crave Case from White Castle and not have to sit out on the porch later.

2.  Leave EVERY toilet seat up all week.

1.While she’s playing the blackjack tables take the chance she won’t notice your new wood-burning kit and the scorched kitchen table.