By Torry Stiles
10. Santa’s reindeer don’t poop.
9. The Grinch story would’ve ended a lot sooner if he just had a pair of Dr. Scholl’s shoe inserts and a decent cardiologist.
8. Santa doesn’t mind stowaways as long as they are wearing pajamas.
7. Elves and Victorian Londoners are naturally gifted dancers.
6. New England is full of family inns on the verge of bankruptcy.
5. If I could’ve talked my buddy in grade school to lick the flagpole, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat.
4. Santa could stand toe-to-toe with Superman, but I think Wolverine would be a tough fight.
3. Elves should not be trusted with power tools.
2. The girl in the Hallmark movies will fall in love with the guy in the plaid shirt.
1. Christmas, as we know it now, would not exist without Jewish actors and Japanese animators.