By Torry Stiles
10. I had talked the paper into paying me to go but their $17 wouldn’t cover my bus ticket.
9. I’ve watched too many Spielberg movies to think meeting aliens would go smoothly.
8. Mom wouldn’t sign my permission slip.
7. I was put into a group of folks to travel together and it turns out I’m the only one with a driver’s license.
6. The Air Force is in charge over there and they don’t chase you anymore. They just send in some drones.
5. My dyslexia kicked in and I ended up at Forever 21. Missed the aliens but I got a great deal on a new blouse.
4. Dodging traffic on the Southeast side is rough enough without worrying about soldiers with machine guns.
3. I’m allergic to felonies.
2. What? And miss the big cute pet contest in next week’s The Southside Times?
1. I worked too hard escaping in the first place.