By Torry Stiles
10. “I’ve reached my redneck limit. You gotta go.”
9. “They were just little felonies, not any REALLY big ones.”
8. “I’m not gonna mess with the COVID shot. I’m just gonna get the booster and be done.”
7. “Where’s his baby?”
“With his cousin?”
“Where’s his baby mama?”
“That’s his cousin.”
6. “Why does he have that beard?”
“He’s Amish.”
“Was Abe Lincoln Amish?”
5. “Just because you sound like Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t mean you get to use the N word.”
4. “Can I get your keys so I can tow your van?”
“Why do you need the keys?”
“So I can get it out of gear and turn the wheel.”
“OK, but don’t open the door or you’ll let our cats out.”
3. “Didn’t we kick you out of here last time?”
“Yeah, but the guy who kicked me out doesn’t work here anymore so I figured we were good.”
2. “These are tribal tattoos.”
“What tribe are you?”
“I dunno. Somethin’ from Mars Hill.”
1.“I got a car payment now. I gotta stop smoking weed.”
