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TOP 10 OBSERVATIONS ABOUT THE LOCKDOWN, THE UN-LOCKDOWN AND THE PROTESTS

By Torry Stiles

10. All kinds of folks are wondering when the high school and college football and basketball teams will start playing. Not a lot are worried about all the other kids getting their education.

9. It used to be that my curfew was “when the streetlights come on.” With Daylight Savings Time that’s like 10 p.m. so the mayor had to go and make it earlier.

8. My advice to all those small stores who got shut down while the big box stores were kept open: put up a shelf of soup and another of toilet paper in the back of the showroom and argue you’re essential.

7. NASCAR is getting ready to have racing with fans again. The stands were so empty at the last race it reminded me of their crowds in 2019.

6. A lot of county fairs have been cancelled or will be held without rides or entertainment. Frankly, if you’ve wandered from the swine barn to a corn dog stand and back then you’re probably already immune.

5. My last doctor visit was over the phone. It accomplished about the same as my last face-to-face exam, cost the same, too. … We just skipped the part where I had to cough.

4. Being back at work after being quarantined was strange. I was afraid to cough and everyone else was afraid I would.

3. After a few months of going to work with no traffic on the road I’m gonna regret the un-lockdown stuff a little.

2. I see they’re talking about more stimulus checks. Here’s an idea: pay people to get downtown and clean off all the paint and fix some windows.

1. During the lockdown only the folks with “essential jobs” were supposed to be out and about. I guess all those other folks finally wanted their turn to get outside.

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