By Torry Stiles
10. Now that the masks are off you don’t recognize anybody.
9. There are so many kids with so many different allergies that your Easter treat for the kids was ice cubes.
8. You make one “La Bamba” joke and the whole school board is breathing down your neck.
7. Mommy Karen over there thinks her little Suzy needs a few more minutes to get ready. Time to try out the new horn that says “Amtrak” on the side.
6. After that “WAP” song and a few others they got now you really do miss the days of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”
5. It’s still against the rules to duct tape kids.
4. The teachers got a union. The district people got a union. You whisper “teamster” around here, and you’re scrubbing wheels at the garage for a week.
3. Kids still hold their breath when we pass a graveyard. Got written up for driving too slowly.
2. The trip home after Taco Tuesday should qualify you for HAZMAT pay.
1.That fourth grader Caitlin did a TikTok video of you telling the kids to sit down and shut up. It went viral, she booked over a hundred grand and all you got was a gift card to Cracker Barrel.