Torry’s Top Ten: Will Rogers Special Election Edition

Top ten recent Will Rogers quotes (were he alive today) [ #24 Special Election Edition]

by Torry Stiles

10. “People ask me; ‘Will, if you’re so smart how come you don’t run for office?’ I tell ’em it’s ’cause I’m so smart, that’s why.”

9. “I know how to get rich this election day. I’m going to sell mouthwash at the polls so folks can wash that bad taste out of their mouths.”

8. “One thing we’ve all learned about those political polls: if you don’t like the numbers you’re hearin’ just change the channel until you find some you like.”

7. “That Trump fella and Mr. Clinton remind me of two old fishin’ buddies whose wives are both in the county fair pie-bakin’ contest. They want to go off and do what they enjoy but now they gotta pretend they don’t like each other…. ‘course in a lot of ways they’re both already in the same boat.”

6. “More and more folks are gettin’ their news off that Internet web and not from newspapers or the radio. What’s scarin’ me is that more and more newspapers and newspeople are gettin’ their news from there, too. Makes you wonder how many headlines are there only ’cause somebody had some time to kill at Starbucks.”

5. “I never saw so many local politicians tryin’ to hide what party they’re in. It’s like watchin’ folks in the buffet line claim they’re just there for the salad bar.”

4. “Who woulda thought that in 2016 we would have the two President candidates arguin’ who was buddyin’ up to the Russians the most? I thought that went away with poodle skirts and fins on cars.”

3. “That Trump fella has so many good-lookin’ girlfriends it’s no wonder so many women hate him.”

2. “I still love bein’ a Democrat I just can’t bring myself to brag about it as much.”

1. “The folks wantin’ to bail us out are the same folks who are sinkin’ the boat.”