Top ten tweets if we all treated tweeting tweets like President Trump
by Torry Stiles
10. Dad @fatherofthehouse – Working hard building a better home. Who knew it would be so tough? These late hours are a killer.
Mom @motherofthehouse – It’s only 7:30 and you’re still wearing your golf shoes.
9. LittleBrother @paininyourside – You better let me watch Spongebob on the good TV or I’m telling Mom who ate the bag of chocolate chips she had hidden. #FinkForLife
8. UsedCarSalesman @fourfendersoflove – This car is so good you won’t need a warranty. Trust me.
7. NewBoyfriend @stillinmomsbasement – This date will be so good. Best date ever. Gonna take you to a great restaurant and the best thing is those folks at Golden Corral will pay for it.
6. Doctor @alittlepressure – Lab test can’t be trusted. I saw this thing on the news last week. This is just like it. I know a guy.
5. MisterWhiskers @catmandoo – The litter box situation is fine. There is just a consensus about the smell but no good evidence.
4. Dad @fatherofthehouse – The Johnson’s next door have been letting their dog, Buster, do his business in our yard. We have to put a stop to this now and seal our borders.
Buster @neighborsdog – Your cat digs in my owner’s flowers. I’ll trade you doo for doo and we can skip the wall thing.
3. Mom @motherofthehouse – We need a new washer and dryer. Dad isn’t getting the job done. Time to drain the swamp.
2. Buster @neighborsdog – The cat should be in jail. If I was in charge he’d be in jail already.
1. Dad @fatherofthehouse – Looking forward to the best dinner ever. I know it will be on time.
Mom @motherofthehouse – You’ll eat when I say so. Stop Russian me.