Torry’s Top Ten: Thoughts about my COVID-19 vaccine

by Torry Stiles

  1. Since getting I’ve been hit with several text messages from the Covid Mafia. I get less spam after writing back to one of those Nigerian princes. 
  2. The shot was barely noticeable. The lack of a lollipop afterwards left me feeling like I’d been gypped. 
  3. Brought back memories. The last time I had been to a big box store at 6 a.m. was to try and buy some Power Rangers. 
  4. I had to fill out a questionnaire and list my current medical issues. With all I put on there I don’t think it mattered. They were just being nosy. 
  5. If you scream at just the right time the pharmacist squirts Covid juice all over the place. 
  6. I got my shot in a local big box store. I kept imagining if we still had Kmart there’d be a Blue Light Special and I’d get both shots for one price.  
  7. After the shot I had to hang out for 15 minutes in case I passed out or something. After looking at the other people around me I so wanted to do my best zombie impersonation. 
  8. There were more possible side-effects listed than symptoms I had when I caught the ‘Rona. 
  9. The brochure with the shot repeatedly tells you that it isn’t USDA or FDA approved. Somewhere out there is a crazy aunt with her collection of essential oils saying, “ I told you so.”
  10. I can’t tell you which big store hosted my inoculation but I think you could figure it out. They had one line open.