Top Ten signs you might not be ready for “normal”
by Torry Stiles
- Six feet still isn’t enough distance for some of the people you meet out there.
- Twelve months of picking up your food in styrofoam containers have made food on a china plate taste funny.
- All of those online classes you’ve taken over the last year now qualify you for a pay hike which the company can’t afford so you’re getting laid off.
- The office took a vote and you were asked to keep working from home and never to bring your boiled cabbage lunches back into the office microwave.
- The boy flunked English last semester after accidentally erasing his term paper and replacing it with highlights from his last online “Belch the Alphabet” challenge.
- That hand sanitizer blog you write netted you six figures last year.
- You get worried your couch is broken until you realize it is the perfect imprint of you.
- Your “steppin’ out shoes” are boxed up in the closet but you’ve got your masks sorted by “formal, semi-formal and casual.”
- The DoorDash driver wants you to go with him to get matching tattoos.
- Your financial report to the Board included annual reports, expenses, revenue projections and a killer banana bread recipe.