Top ten signs of spring in “the new normal”
By Torry Stiles
10. You realize “April Fresh Scent” is nothing like that stuff in the laundry room.
9. “Is there a Covid test for mosquitoes?”
8. The folks next door haven’t cleaned their grill since before the lockdown and the neighborhood now smells like lard-fried gym socks.
7. “Mom. Coach says you get to be team mom because you’re the only one who’s had both shots.”
6. The only super-spreader you’re concerned with is filled with 10-10-10 fertilizer.
5. Your kid is on the baseball team and going through masks faster than you can keep up. Seems he keeps forgetting to drop the mask before spitting or blowing his bubble gum.
4. Vacation plans are guided by who still has a mask mandate.
3. You finally go camping and catch yourself asking Alexa for weather updates and cooking tips.
2. The 2021 masks are in. … Pastels are back and they look FABULOUS!
1. “First person who coughs is walking home.”