Top ten signs that this is your last Valentine’s Day together
by Torry Stiles
10. You sneak up from behind, cover her eyes and announce, “It’s Loverboy!” She asks, “Which one?”
9. She spends a lot of time on the computer Googling “Dear John letters.”
8. What used to be dinner for two is now two items from the dollar menu.
7. His idea of a pregnancy test is asking, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
6. You thought he was being kinky talking about bringing another woman to the hotel until you found out he never goes anywhere without his mother.
5. Last year you both had dinner with Dom Perignon. This year she’s going out with Don from Accounting.
4. The messenger delivered a box of candy with the phrase, “You’ve been served.”
3. Every year he would write you a Valentine’s Day love poem. You found the rough draft of this year’s. It starts out, “Here I sit, broken-hearted…”
2. She’s binge-watching a lot of C.S.I.-type shows lately and investing in garden equipment.
1. “Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
We’re all done
And your rent’s overdue.”