Torry’s Top Ten: Rejected slogans for the Beech Grove Chamber

Top Ten rejected slogans for the Greater Beech Grove Chamber of Commerce

by Torry Stiles

10. “Quick. Snap your picture. These scissors are heavy.”

9. “Please try to schedule your Grand Opening so it doesn’t conflict with ‘Dancing with the Stars.”

8. “We’re out of yardsticks. Try the next booth.”

7. “We’ve cut more ribbons than Santa’s elves.”

6. “Because polyester jackets still have a place on a man’s fashion plate.”

5. “We can get you a great deal on some of those giant gold-colored scissors. We buy in bulk.”

4. “Tossin’ out ‘Atta-boys!’ like they were candy since 2007.”

3. “We keep Southport from acting too cocky.”

2. “If we had an MCL we would meet more often.”

1. “Okay. So we don’t have much in the way of a real ‘chamber’ but our receptionist’s office is positively gorgeous.”