Top ten signs you’ve got too much time on your hands
by Torry Stiles
10. You and the dogs just finished a 15 minute discussion about appropriate behavior when the mail carrier stops by.
9. You save up your fortune cookie fortunes so you can teach yourself to speak Chinese.
8. You have grave concerns about proper storage of pinking shears.
7. Your sock drawer is arranged by color and length.
6. More than one of your neighbors has referred to you as “the creepy one.”
5. The cat would like you to not start scooping until he’s done.
4. The Home Shopping Network has blocked your number after the last time you called up just to chat.
3. The kids sit you down to thank you for joining them for lunch in the school cafeteria but ask you to please stop meeting them for recess.
2. Pizza shops remind you that their delivery people cannot come in for some Netflix and pizza.
1. You have had more than one conversation about your pet’s potty habits this week.