Torry’s Top 10: Signs that high school drama has changed

By Torry Stiles

10. The mean teachers can’t touch you and more and more neither can the creepy ones.
9. Break-ups and hook-ups are just a Facebook status change any more.
8. Poor fashion decisions are eliminated with everyone at their home kitchen table wearing pajamas.
7. When was the last time they had to actually dissect something?
6. With everything online kids will never know the joy of sniffing a newly mimeographed quiz.
5. Smoking in the bathrooms is a thing of the past but they’ve got some gummy candy that’ll send you higher than Cheech & Chong ever went.
4. Forget about kids learning about sex on the street corner or watching late-night cable. They get more action from their Apple Watch than we ever got from dad’s old magazines.
3. Skin products are so much better you have to go to another district to find a good Craterface or Cyclops any more.
2. Driver’s Ed? Who needs it? Mom can take us.
1. They used to have a class where you had to take care of an egg or a doll for a week to teach the responsibilities of parenting. Between the vegans and the real babies that’s gone.