TOP TEN WAYS TO SPOT THE TOURISTS ON THE SOUTHSIDE

By Torry Stiles

You may be a tourist if you don’t know Long’s Donuts.
Photo by Stock Unlimited.

10. They skip the free popcorn at Rural King.

9.  They’re always keeping an eye out for the Homecroft Police.

8. They’ve never been to a yard sale and have never held one.

7. When they spot a cop with someone pulled over they don’t slow way down to see if they recognize the guy.

6. They have no clue what an Ollie’s or a Big Lots is.

5. Shelby Street confuses them but they breeze through roundabouts like grease on a hot skillet.

4. You have to explain that chicken nuggets aren’t just on the kid’s menu.

3. They have their Chatard shirt on.

2. You have to explain Long’s Donuts.

1.  They don’t have the potholes memorized.