TOP TEN WAYS TO PREPARE FOR THE UPCOMING FALL FESTIVALS

By Torry Stiles

10.  Warm up your skills the week before by walking through the mall and constantly saying, “Just looking”.

9. Buy some Boy Scouts popcorn now and you won’t be so shocked by the $7 price tag for a bag of kettle corn later.

8. Epipens and diaper wipes. Trust me on this one.

7. Learn to negotiate for better parking through the use of stolen handicap parking tags.

6. Practice saying, “I love these craft fairs because they inspire me to create my own…” then sneak off to Target the next weekend and buy a bunch of stuff off the shelf.

5. Lower your standards for “clean restrooms”.

4. Bring a leash for your kid and a stroller for your dog.

3. Pack a bag with the essentials for a fall day in Indiana: sunscreen, umbrella, mosquito repellant, winter jacket, hand sanitizer, flip-flops and snow boots.

2. Finally admit to yourself that if it says, ” Made in Pakistan” then it probably isn’t authentic, antique Americana.

1. Buy one of those big, rolling shopping cart thingies and then forget it every time you head out.