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TOP TEN WAYS TO BECOME YOUR COMPANY’S NEXT DISGRUNTLED FORMER EMPLOYEE

By Torry Stiles

10. Answer the phone with the phrase, “Are you hiring?”

9. Greet the corporate CEO with a firm handshake and the question, “Want a beer?”

8. “What do you mean we don’t have Senior Skip Day here?”

7. Count out your customer’s change by saying, “One for you. One for me …”

6. Be the reason for more than two safety committee meetings.

5. Bring your Wubbie™ and some chocky milk to the next supervisor’s meeting.

4. Taste test your customer’s food.

3. The next time they threaten to write you up you threaten to call your mom.

2. Casual Friday isn’t really casual until it’s boxers-and-tank-top casual.

1. Blame the extensive damage on the fire department’s slow response time.

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