By Torry Stiles
(Dear readers: as discussed last week. The kids taught me a thing or two.)
- “Goochy” means good. “Dookie” means bad. “Dookie” has several other uses and none of them are printable.
- Kids learn from the movies and TV. This being said or is understandable that think Morgan Freeman is the president of the United States.
- Fifth-grade boys claim they cannot control their bodily functions unless they want to demonstrate the ability to belch and pass gas on command.
- To a road-weary fifth-grader every limestone building is the Lincoln Memorial. This includes post offices and public restrooms.
- The most common phrase heard is not, “I have to go to the bathroom,” but, “Let me use your charger.”
- You can talk about bloody battles, war and the burning of Washington all you want and the kids yawn but spot a squirrel pooping and they go nuts.
- It is perfectly fine to snap a picture of the statue of Franklin Delano Roosevelt but it is wrong to yank on his hand saying, “Pull my finger!”
- Eighty degrees and a long walk ahead: I don’t know … maybe wearing your brand new hooded sweatshirt is a bad idea, son.
- Apparently Donald Trump gas-bombed a bunch of people. Well, him or the Syrians, they weren’t too sure about this.
- Fifth-grade boys are like fish: they are tough to catch and smell bad when left out in the sun.
Bonus Top Ten item (just uttered on the bus): “…. You know how we studied that the Revolutionary War was between us, the British and the New England Patriots? …”