By Torry Stiles

10. Grandma is canning something… not sure what but she thinks it’ll be a winner.


9. You’re looking forward to checking out a band even though there is no alcohol served.


8. Suddenly the kids are Nobel Prize-winning economists discussing the value of wristbands.


7. The wife is jones-ing for an elephant ear.


6. The sound of a cat hacking a hairball usually sends you running from the room but now you can’t wait to watch a llama relieve himself while you eat a corndog. 


5. Tilt-A-Whirl nostalgia outweighs Tilt-A-Whirl nausea.


4. The bib overalls are coming out of the closet.


3. Pineapple whip, baby. Pine. Apple. Whip. …. Oh, yeah.


2. Got the mullet growing out and Mama’s airing out the tube top.


1. Demo derby warm-ups with the shopping carts at Krogers.