By Torry Stiles
10. Top Ten ways to get kicked out of Long’s Donuts. [“Number 4. Can I just lick the counter for a nickel?”]
9. Top Ten reasons I’m not The Southside Times food critic.
8. Top Ten wrong responses to the Beech Grove Police during a traffic stop. [“Number 1. Don’t you know who I am? I’m Torry Stiles!”]
7. Top Ten bad ways to stop panhandling. [“Number 9. Put them on the city/county council.”]
6. Top Ten rejected nicknames on the newest police reality shows. [“Number 1. Crystal Methison.”]
5. Top Nine Math Mistakes.
4. Top Ten new columnist collaborations for The Southside Times. [“Top Ten Haunted Health Food Stores.”]
3. Top Ten crimes Brett Kavanaugh was not accused of committing. [“Number 3. Backing into a parking spot to keep the cops from seeing his license plate.”]
2. Top Ten Favorite Tide Pod recipes.
1. Top Ten excuses given for the 2018 “pothole epidemic.” [“Number 7. Indianapolis Mayor Joe Hogsett is trying to appeal to the off-roading crowd.”]