Top ten new things to worry about as we head into winter

By Torry Stiles

10. The store is all self check-out and half the items in your cart are mark-downs or missing labels.
9. The bosses at work are using the word “re-structuring” way too often.
8. Not sure what they’re smoking in the car next to you but you better stop inhaling or you’re never going to pass that drug test tomorrow.
7. All your friends and family are demanding the wedding, graduation, birthday and other holiday presents they didn’t get during the lockdown.
6. You can’t figure out why you’re always broke until you realize that since the first CoVid lockdown you’ve signed up for $500 a month’s worth of phone apps and cable TV services.
5. What you thought was an emergency mask in your pocket turns out to be an old wrapper from a Big Beef Burrito and now you’re stuck outside the clinic door waiting for someone to offer you a spare.
4. You’ve run out of binge-worthy shows and are back to watching Andy Griffith reruns.
3. Steaks are $15 a pound and the husband announces he’s going keto and wants red meat.
2. The bank says they have no plans to create personal fuel loans.
1. You start the “Let’s go Brandon” cheer and some guy named Brandon thinks it’s for him.