Top 10 ways you blew the election before it even started

By Torry Stiles

10. Dare the press to dig up some dirt on you and then head off to meet your girlfriend.

9.  Forget how to delete emails and clear your browser history.

8. Launch your campaign by endorsing your opponent’s platform.

7. Start the press conference by stating, “I am Ironman.”

6.  Offer to cancel the election and settle everything with a Hell in the Cell match on pay-per-view.

5. Pay your campaign debts with rubles, yuan or young children.

4. Let them find out how much you’ve made off the government already.

3. Spend your first press conference making balloon animals and doing impressions.

2. Hit the campaign trail with the slogan, “Y’all too stupid not to vote for me.”

1.Not pay the old girlfriend enough.