By Torry Stiles
10. Start every conversation with, “As long as you’re under MY roof …”
9. “Your mother is experimenting with some new food. Tonight’s dinner will be kale-stuffed kale.”
8. “It’s a flip phone. You can still text.”
7. Put together a flier for your next yard sale and prominently post items from the kid’s room.
6. Invite yourself to his next date … and the next …. and the next. ….
5. The next time you’re at dinner with the kid quietly let the waiter know you want separate checks. When they come, grab yours and leave.
4. Arrange for a week-long visit from Grandma and volunteer the kid’s room.
3. “Your mother and I are looking into the ‘clothing optional’ lifestyle.”
2. Give the kid a car with an empty gas tank and a gas card with no money on it.
1. “Your Uncle Gary, the Army recruiter, will be here Monday morning to talk to you. About 7, maybe 6.”