By Torry Stiles
10. I remind myself just how stupid a Top Nine list would look.
9. Say something about Long’s Donuts.
8. Imagine giving three Red Bulls and a dozen Krispy Kreme’s to the guy who talks to himself behind the gas station. Now what would he say about this. …?
7. Sit at my computer and dare my readers to guess if I’m wearing pants.
6. Check out some of my old lists and change “Hillary Clinton” to “Nancy Pelosi.”
5. Think up another way to sneak the word “poop” into the newspaper.
4. Ask Alexa or Siri. They’ve always got something.
3. Just turn people’s names into Star Wars’ names. Don-don Trump. Jo-jo Biden. Hilarity Ensues.
2. Don’t panic and steal something from a Facebook post.
1.Just remember that my job is to describe the joy of human experience through humor and something, something, something. …
