TOP 10 THINGS THE 911 DISPATCHER HATES TO HEAR

By Torry Stiles

10. “Send that cute ambulance guy with the dimples.”

9. “If the firemen are coming to my house can I have them stop and pick up my kid at school?”

8. “I think the cops stole my weed and I want to file a complaint.”

7. “My neighbor is walking around nude. Oh, I’m not complaining. She’s smokin’ hot and I’m tellin’ everyone.”

6. “I’m out of cat food. How soon can you have somebody here?”

5. “Can you get a social disease from social media?”

4. “When is ‘Dancing with the Stars’ on?”

3. “You sound hot.”

2. “Can you tell my son that you really will send a policeman out here and arrest him if he doesn’t pick up his room?”

1. “If it’s illegal but fun doesn’t that make it kinda legal?”