Top 10 things Momo the Monkey learned while on the lam

By Torry Stiles

10. The walk-in tattoo place requires cash up front.

9. Trash can beer isn’t great, but if it’s all you’ve got it’s not that bad.

8. 38th & Post is a freakin’ war zone, but secondhand smoke and music are pretty chill.

7. If you have a piece of cardboard that reads, “Homeless. Hungry. God bless,” people will give you money.

6.  That whole “Steal-car-with-just-your-cell-phone” doesn’t work if you don’t have a cell phone and can’t read.

5. f you throw your poop at people they usually back off.

4. You can make about $100 a night standing on the median with your sign.

3. The coppers never woulda caught me if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids and their dog.

2. This “I Chiquitas” tattoo rocks!

1. Eastside chicks are hot but scream too much.