Top 10 suggestions to improve the Marion County Fair

By Torry Stiles

10. Set up a sushi stand right next to the goldfish game. Tell the kids that they better save the goldies from becoming nigiri.

9. I realize Indy doesn’t have a lot of farming anymore, but I don’t think dinosaurs are quite as representative of our state as a couple of pigs and goats might have been.

8. Offer a special “Daredevil Discount” for folks to ride the rides that the fire marshal closed down.

7. Yardsticks. I want my stinkin’ yardsticks. I don’t need them; I just want them.

6.  The fair queen should be decided by an over-the-top-rope Battle Royal.

5.  Valet parking but if you don’t tip the driver your car ends up in the second heat of the demo derby.

4. The crowd was pretty freaky so how about a sideshow tent of “normal” people?

3.  If we can’t have a tractor field to sell plows and combines can we get a Lawn-Boy pavilion and a rack of weed whackers?

2. The stick should never taste better than the corndog.

1.With everybody getting tattooed and pierced these days we need brighter uniforms for the employees so we can tell them apart from the customers.