Top 10 signs you might not be Parent of the Year material

By Torry Stiles

10. You’re on the “barred” list at the daycare.

9. The DNA testing lab is offering you frequent flier discounts.

8. Folks in the ‘hood call you “Pop Machine” because you’ve made so many baby daddies.

7. You and the kid have the same probation officer.

6. You buy diapers one size too large because they hold more.

5.  Children should never be hosed off in a coin-operated car wash.

4.  Duct taping the bottle to the kid’s hand is not acceptable no matter how many times he drops it.

3.  You know all about WIC, AFDC and CPS but draw a blank on MMR, SIDS and SATs.

2. The baby is stashed on the car floor on the passenger side because you don’t want to dent the upholstery with a car seat.

1.You take your 3-year-old dumpster-diving because she’s easier to lift up into the dumpster.