Top 10 signs you might not be in the best hotel

By Torry Stiles

10.  The ducks and chickens were charming, but the guy keeping goats on the third floor ruins the mood.

9.  “Excuse me, sir. We recommend you wear your mask.”

“Are you having an outbreak of Covid?”

“What’s Covid?”

8. The rooms they offer are the Presidential Suite, the Honeymoon Suite and the Fixer-Upper.

7. The lobby sleeps three.

6. Instead of fixing the roof they are up-charging for the “Starlight Suite.”

5. You find they call themselves Michelin-quality because there’s a guy in the parking lot running a used tire business.

4. At 8 a.m. the manager is knocking at the door asking for his turn with the complimentary shampoo.

3. The free cable TV consists of four shopping channels and 24/7 Joel Osteen reruns.

2. There’s a note on the wall asking you not to peep through the bullet holes to the room next door.

1.At first you thought they were orders for vacations on the wall but up close you see they’re orders to vacate.