By Torry Stiles
10. You’re the reason for more than one of the zoning rules.
9. More than one of your invitees responds, “If I make parole. …”
8. The liquor store requires you to sign a waiver.
7. The damage from last year is easily spotted on Google Earth.
6. The town council requires you to notify your neighbors via certified mail of their rights to relocate either temporarily or permanently.
5. Your mom offers to make more of her famous clam dip but only if you promise not to add any bourbon to it.
4. While cleaning up in preparation of this party you are still finding stuff from last year’s.
3. Nobody can park in front of your house because the portable police command post is parked there.
2. The dog asks if he can go to the kennel for the night.
1. Bail bondsmen ask to advertise in your bathroom.
