By Torry Stiles
10. Waking up in the middle of the night thinking there was an injured cat in the house only to realize I had a snot whistling.
9. Explaining to my 9-year-old nephew that if scientists were to recreate a wooly mammoth it is rather doubtful that it would develop into a big Jurassic Park tragedy.
8. We’re kinda in-between new comic book movies.
7. Going to the store late on “Pi Day” and discovering they’re down to a few sad-looking apple pies and a sweet potato that somebody already stuck a finger into.
6. Explaining to my 9-year-old nephew that i wasn’t there in pioneer days, and I never made my cows pull a wagon.
5. Apologizing for sitting in the dog’s chair.
4. Packing enough clothing from T-shirts to parkas to cope with March weather.
3. Reassuring my 9-year-old nephew that nobody is shooting anybody at the mall today and that this is just a Dollar Tree and hardly anybody is out to shoot up a Dollar Tree.
2. Apologizing to my Alexa for not saying “please” and “thank you.”
1. Calming my 9-year-old nephew who is worried that his stuffed toy crocodile and his stuffed toy tyrannosaurus rex got together and now the T-rex is pregnant.