TOP 10 REASONS YOUR COUNTY FAIR ENTRY LOST

By Torry Stiles

10. Watermelon seed spitting was never meant to be a form of combat.

9. Yours was the only 4H sewing project that used prison orange.

8. The legal owner of your demo derby car was in the stands.

7. The swine competition specifically stipulated that all pigs be uncooked at the time of the contest.

6. Only the presence of a stomach pump protected you from serious liability problems in the pie-baking contest.

5. Your “Diaper Derby” entrant had a mustache.

4. The County Fair talent show just isn’t ready for a stripper pole.

3. The husband-calling contest was a washout due to your insistence on texting him.

2. Your llama was very well-formed and charming but when he bit off that kid’s ear…. Well, that was just too much.

1. While the judges appreciated your husband’s wrecker service sponsoring the canned food competition they were not willing to accept your entry called, “Tow Jam.”