Top 10 quotes that prove you’re not quite living the dream

By Torry Stiles

 

10. “If I miss one more day of school, Dad goes to jail. He’d better be extra nice to me until the end of May.”

9. “Those are your only pair of glasses. Squint around the cracks.”

8. “We had to move the couch to get the baby out.”

7. “I have to keep the car window rolled down, so I can hold the door closed.”

6. “Burglars broke in last night. They couldn’t find anything worth taking.”

5. “No, Granny. We do NOT want to see what you got pierced.”

4. “The folks at the animal shelter say we’ve reached our limit and can’t have any more.”

3. “She acts like a man, walks like a man, smells like a man…”

2. “Me and Grampa have the same parole officer.”

1. “We can get a car or a tattoo but not both.”