By Torry Stiles
10. “Tired of sitting on the back of the couch lickin’ the window.”
9. “Ain’t peed on nothin’ new in weeks.”
8. “We’re keeping it on the down low around here. Fluffy coughed once last week and he’s had her in isolation ever since.”
7. “She CHOSE to go vegan. Leave me out of this and get me some kibble.”
6. “I hope the barber shops open soon. He’s been using my trimmers again.”
5. “This is the third time today we vacuumed the living room. Give it a break already.”
4. “I bring her a dead mouse and she loses it big time. Breakfast in bed for her but she screams and whacks me with a pillow.”
3. “Used to be we could bark at the mailman the whole time he was on the block. Mama smacks us if we make a peep when he hits the porch.”
2. “I want plain Cheetos and he keeps buying the hot red kind and then yelling at me for boot-scooting across the living room rug.”
1. “I get yelled at if I’m on the couch all day.”
