By Torry Stiles
10. UNSTAGRAM – verb – The act of deleting your old comments on the internet after we all find something else to be butthurt about.
9. ALIENIZING – verb – The habit of some folks on the internet to blame everything on little green men from outer space.
8. SELL PHONES – noun – The tethered samples of the latest devices on the electronics department display counter.
7. SPRINTER – noun – When it’s a spring-like 70 degrees in December and January.
6. CAFETERIAN – noun – the new employee whose job is to oversee and serve at the old buffet or salad bar.
5. CALMGREGATE – verb – Practice of stores, churches and other venues to attempt to circumvent government restrictions by not advertising openly and having folks park out of sight.
4. STRIPULATE – verb – Government rules for assistance that end up costing as much or more than the assistance amount.
3. SLIMULUS CHECK – noun – $600 after nine months of shutdown.
2. TRUMPBRELLA – noun – The act of lumping all political actions not currently labelled “progressive” as racist, homophobic, misogynistic or xenophobic.
1. SICK LEAF – noun – The act of taking only one day off for an illness instead of the usual 2-3 days.