Top 10 modern additions to Paul Simon’s ‘50 Ways to Leave Your Lover’

By Torry Siles

10. Delete her tweet, Pete.

9. Erase that file, Kyle.

8. Leave him at the jetty, Betty.

7. Send ‘er back to Mama, Obama.

6. Get that culture cancelled, Ansel.

5. Tata via Instagram, Pam.

4. RKO the big zero.

3. Float out like a feather, Heather.

2. Drop her in the void, Cloyd.

1.Drive off in your EV, Stevie.