.cat-links { display: none !important; }

TOP 10 LESSER-KNOWN RULES IN THE GOVERNOR’S PLAN TO RE-OPEN THE STATE

By Torry Stiles

10. Stage 1, Phase 7: Bringing home a single personal pan pizza when there are other people living there is strongly discouraged.

9. Stage 2, Phase 6: Noogies, Dutch rubs and Indian burns allowed provided gloves are worn.

8. Stage 4, Phase 2: Mothers may resume licking tissues and wiping stains off their kids’ face.

7. Stage 3, Phase 4: Gloves still required to handle food items. Baseball gloves still prohibited.

6. Stage 7, Phase 1: Letting your dog lick the pancake syrup off your face is allowed.

5. Stage 2, Phase 4: References to “Tiger King” are officially old.

4. Stage 5, Phase 2: Baseball players allowed to spit again but only while in uniform.

3. Stage 3, Phase 3: Gatherings of more than 50 people are allowed but only if a Dale Earnhardt flag is present.

2. Stage 4, Phase 1: Everybody must start wearing real pants again.

1.Stage 5, Phase 7: With everybody back to work “non-essential workers” schedule their vacations.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *