The Hitman’s Bodyguard: unoriginal, unfunny and pretty unwatchable
Work is an activity the majority of the population absolutely dreads. It can be monotonous, painfully dull and worst of all, we’re never compensated enough for the awful task. The best most can hope to achieve is to find a career in something we somewhat enjoy, with opportunities to move up and the chance to make a decent living. However, career setbacks do occur and can be devastating. Whether it’s due to being fired, quitting or for some other reason, career setbacks happen. One new film takes a comedic look at career setbacks and the lengths some will go to get their career back on track.
The Hitman’s Bodyguard is the story of Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds), the world’s top bodyguard until an unexpected mishap leaves his client dead, with a bullet in his skull. Flash forward two years and Bryce is a shell of his former self. He’s still in the business of personal protection, but it’s basically for people no one would miss if they were gone. However, as luck would have it, Bryce’s luck may be changing.
He’s soon given an opportunity, which if successful could catapult his career to new heights. Unfortunately, there is one major problem: his assignment involves transporting and protecting Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson). Kincaid is a notorious hitman whom everyone wants dead and who has personally made more than two dozen attempts on Bryce’s life. Needless to say, their little trip doesn’t quite go as planned.
The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a film built around, prominently features and relies heavily upon the personalities and interactions of the film’s two talented leads. And as such, there appears to have been minimal effort in constructing even a mildly interesting or unique storyline. Prior to churning out this underdeveloped and lazy story, the writers appear to have sat down, watched every buddy cop movie ever made and then just threw something similar together.
In addition to the poor script, the film also suffers from horrible direction. Instead of moving the story along, the film lingers entirely too long on scenes where Reynolds and Jackson berate one another with profane, witty wordplay. Additionally, Gary Oldman, who plays the film’s villain, is entirely wasted. He is reduced to a knockoff James Bond villain, showing up every 10 minutes or so to spout some menacing line with a Russian accent.
From the unoriginal and unfunny script, the atrocious direction and completely wasting the talent of its cast, The Hitman’s Bodyguard doesn’t deserve defending. A terrible film. 2 out of 5.