Torry’s Top Ten: Things librarians are tired of hearing

Top ten things librarians are tired of hearing

by Torry Stiles

10. “Oh. I thought you said ‘Nun Fiction.’ I figured it was a Catholic thing.”

9. “My dumb brother’s hungry. Where do you keep the paste?”

8. “My wife’s overdue but it doesn’t cost me 25 cents a day.”

7. “I was using your computer…. Define ‘inappropriate’ and do you warn people before you call the police?”

6. “Somebody cut the good parts out of the nudes in the art books.”

5. “Somebody is drawing bathing suits on the nudes in the art books.”

4. “Have you got any new art books?”

3. “Can I use my library card to buy a book of stamps?”

2. “Will you explain to my friend that there is no such thing as a Gooey decimal system?”

1. “So, like, is library science, like, a real thing and if so then where’s your white lab coat?”