Torry’s Top Ten: Rejected suggestions for Beech Grove Main Street

Top ten most quickly rejected suggestions to fix Beech Grove’s Main Street

by Torry Stiles

10. Bring back live floggings in front of the Town Hall.

9. Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!

8. Change the jewelry store’s name to Captain Spaulding’s and sell only Marx Brothers memorabilia.

7. Truck in a whole lot of sand and change the name to Grove Beach.

6. Give Main Street that “big city feel” by bussing in some street people to sleep on the benches.

5. Municipally-funded $2 pitcher night at O’Gara’s.

4. Open up a gentlemen’s club in the post office. We can call it The Male Room.

3. Bring back the Meat Market but sell only off of the endangered species list.

2. Roller derby arena instead of the football field.

1. Two words: Talking mimes.