Torry’s Top Ten: Reasons I rarely mention my wife in these lists

Top ten reasons I rarely mention my wife in these lists

by Torry Stiles

10. She modified our wedding vows to read, “…to have, hold and keep off the Editorial page.”

9. She is one of the few people I trust not to spit in my food.

8. She let’s me know that she likes to watch me sleep.

7. She watches a lot of CSI and NCIS and is usually making notes.

6. Some of her best friends own excavating equipment.

5. Because love is eternal but life is temporary.

4. My momma done told me that mommas and wives were off limits… and if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

3. I respect her as a woman, a person and as someone who I may someday rely upon to call 911.

2. I don’t heal as well as I used to.

1. She is the mother of my children and often reminds me that I will get sole custody if she leaves.