Top ten good things about breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend
by Torry Stiles
10. Couch is roomier and with a few more doses of spray will lose that footy smell.
9. Your mom finally gets to unleash those “I-told-you-so’s” she’s been saving up.
8. You’ve already saved thirty dollars on Ultimate Fighting pay-per-views.
7. Beer is once again a breakfast food.
6. You don’t have to act like his/her dad’s jokes are funny.
5. The dog isn’t blamed nearly as often.
4. All the make-up. All of the bathroom counter. All of the time.
3. You still get the discount for the appetizer but you don’t have to share.
2. Less dish washing as you go back to eating your Mac & Cheese straight from the pan while leaning over the sink.
1. “Am I free for a girls’ night this Friday? Let me check with…. Why, yes. Yes I am.”