Top ten things you should know before heading off to college
10. If it’s wet and it’s not yours; don’t touch it.
9. Forget ramen noodles. Beef-A-Roni is the bomb.
8. No. Your roommate does NOT like cleaning up after you. Get a paper towel and scoop that up before it dries.
7. Maximum shelf life for unrefrigerated left-over pizza is 12 hours. Less if left outdoors or your roomie has a cat.
6. Two dollars worth of Febreeze can replace $20 worth of laundry soap and washing machine quarters. The key is to rotate the dirties and spray when needed.
5. Two dollars worth of Febreeze can replace $20 worth of deodorant and perfume. You had better start getting used to the smell now because your fellow students will know these tricks before Thanksgiving break.
4. Strive to date people whose parents visit regularly and treat for dinner generously.
3. Avoid dating graduate students on grants that don’t include a housing allowance…. unless you really enjoy left-over hippy kids who want to sleep on your floor and complain about your musical tastes.
2. Almost anything is edible with enough hot sauce or Ranch dressing. Stock up on both.
1. You will find that the craziest, funnest people are the least likely to be there next semester. Try not to get too attached to anyone who owns a hookah and their own beer tap.