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February 22, 2017

  • Serving Indy’s Southside Since 1928
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Torry’s Top Ten: New tax suggestions
Feb16

Torry’s Top Ten: New tax suggestions

Top ten suggestions for new taxes by Torry Stiles (Dear readers – It seems our state government is proposing some new taxes on things like gasoline and cigarettes. These things are already pretty heavily taxes already so maybe it’s time for some new ideas.) 10. NonSocial Security. Two dollars a day for folks who refuse to return the greeting from the folks at Walgreen’s, WalMart or other stores. 9. Dumb Tax. One...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Signs this is your last Valentine’s together
Feb09

Torry’s Top Ten: Signs this is your last Valentine’s together

Top ten signs that this is your last Valentine’s Day together by Torry Stiles 10. You sneak up from behind, cover her eyes and announce, “It’s Loverboy!” She asks, “Which one?” 9. She spends a lot of time on the computer Googling “Dear John letters.” 8. What used to be dinner for two is now two items from the dollar menu. 7. His idea of a pregnancy test is asking, “You’re not...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Things librarians are tired of hearing

Top ten things librarians are tired of hearing by Torry Stiles 10. “Oh. I thought you said ‘Nun Fiction.’ I figured it was a Catholic thing.” 9. “My dumb brother’s hungry. Where do you keep the paste?” 8. “My wife’s overdue but it doesn’t cost me 25 cents a day.” 7. “I was using your computer…. Define ‘inappropriate’ and do you warn people before...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Overheard during bout with the flu
Jan26

Torry’s Top Ten: Overheard during bout with the flu

Top ten things overheard during my bout with the flu by Torry Stiles 10. “Who moved the bathroom? Where are the extra towels?” 9. “Where are my Superman pajamas? If I’m gonna stay home sick I’m gonna stay home in style.” 8. “Honey. Come get the dog. He’s eating the used Kleenex again.” 7. “Hello. May I speak with Mrs. Stiles?” “Hello. This is Mrs. Stiles.”...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Reasons you’re banned from the mall
Jan19

Torry’s Top Ten: Reasons you’re banned from the mall

Top ten reasons you’re banned from the mall by Torry Stiles 10. The bulk candy store might tolerate a bit of “free taste” but seven pounds of gummi worms is pushing things a bit too far. 9. Mattress displays are for selling not Wrestlemania re-enactments. 8. The Fitting Room is plainly marked, “Fitting Room.” The restrooms … 7. “Marco!” “Polo!” “Marco!”...

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