Print Edition

October 01, 2016

  • Serving Indy’s Southside Since 1928
  • BEECH GROVE
  • CENTER GROVE
  • GREENWOOD
  • SOUTHPORT
  • FRANKLIN & PERRY TOWNSHIPS
Torry’s Top Ten: Tiny Houses
Sep29

Torry’s Top Ten: Tiny Houses

Top ten reasons I could never live in one of those tiny houses by Torry Stiles (Dear readers – Since every other humorist worth a giggle has chimed in about the presidential debate I figured I would talk about the new “tiny houses” fad. Much safer and less likely to get me banned from Harry C’ s.) 10. Did you ever notice how many of these tiny houses are built on somebody else’s yard? I don’t want...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Signs you’re not meant for farm life
Sep22

Torry’s Top Ten: Signs you’re not meant for farm life

Top ten signs you aren’t meant for life on the farm by Torry Stiles 10. “What’s that smell?” “Fertilizer. We put it on the fields every few months.” “What kind is it.” <sniff> “Mostly pig with a little chicken mixed in.” 9. “What do you mean Domino’s doesn’t deliver?” 8. “Dad! There’s a spider on the porch.” “Where’s...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Things not to say to a Southside cop
Sep15

Torry’s Top Ten: Things not to say to a Southside cop

Top ten things not to say to a Southside cop by Torry Stiles 10. “Go Hornets! Oh, shoot. You’re a Southport cop.” 9. “Hold my beer. I’m gonna rassle your partner.” 8. “Shoot. I thought y’all were a buncha race fans down here. Ain’t that Southside Gateway thing the startin’ line?” 7. “I ain’t drunk. The guy drivin’ sure is. He’s so drunk he told...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Animal shelter slogans
Sep08

Torry’s Top Ten: Animal shelter slogans

Top ten Sarge-approved new slogans for the Southside Animal Shelter by Torry Stiles (Dear readers – The Southside Animal Shelter at 1614 West Edgewood has plenty of cats and dogs available for immediate adoption. Sarge is a “lifer” in the cat wing who maintains order and demands treats. He strongly suggested I put his list in this week’s paper, “if I knew what was good for me.”) 10. “Spay it...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Hotels
Sep01

Torry’s Top Ten: Hotels

Top ten signs you may not be staying in a 5-star hotel by Torry Stiles 10. The clerk explains that it was unnecessary to tip the parking valet because that hotel didn’t provide valet parking. 9. You could handle, “the bath is down the hall,” but you weren’t ready for, “the privy is out back.” 8. Your ice bucket was cracked and the glasses all said, “Smuckers.” 7. You wrongly assumed they...

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