Login

Print Edition

December 21, 2014

  • Serving Indy’s Southside Since 1928
  • BEECH GROVE
  • CENTER GROVE
  • GREENWOOD
  • SOUTHPORT
  • FRANKLIN & PERRY TOWNSHIPS

Torry’s Top Ten 12/18/14

Top ten modern hazards Santa has to deal with   by Torry Stiles   One more OSHA write-up and he’ll have to buy steel-toed pointy shoes for all the elves. Twinkletoes the elf went a little whacko and they had to tear-gas him out of the toy shop. A few problems from last year means Dasher and Dancer have to stay home until they pee clean. That Putin guy in Russia is getting very ornery about the fly-overs. Folks who...

Read More

Torry’s Top Ten

Top ten things I learned from my recent trip to the big indoor flea market by Torry Stiles Avoid using the word “bootleg.” Don’t even whisper it. If it gets too noisy just loudly say the phrase, “licensed NFL product” and watch things get real quiet. It is okay to haggle. Do not haggle with any shopkeeper holding a machete. Mexican candy is often flavored with chili peppers. American candy is rarely...

Read More

Torry’s Top Ten 12/04/14

Top ten signs it’s going to be a rough Christmas by Torry Stiles Black Friday was spoiled by a red checking account. Your garage leaked and you’re decorating the tree with tinfoil and the purple and orange Halloween lights. The lady running the church canned food drive looks straight at you when she says, “No creamed corn or lima beans.” The guy at the lot asks you NOT to tell folks where your tree came from....

Read More

Torry’s Top Ten

Top ten Thanksgiving Day pet peeves by Torry Stiles When there’s no real mayonnaise for the cold turkey sandwiches. Anybody under the age of 13 who is complaining about how the holidays have become too commercialized… not like when they were little. People who would rather shop than be with family enjoying the holiday. People in turkey costumes running marathons. Tofurkey. Family members who know about my doctor-imposed...

Read More

Torry’s Top Ten 11/20/14

Top ten reasons pigs don’t enjoy Thanksgiving   by Porkrinds Stiles   [Dear readers – Many of you may recall that I have a pet pig living in my house. For those of you who don’t recall: I have a pet pig living in my house. She is pleasant enough company but like to see her name in print from time to time. – Torry Stiles]   Some of my bestest friends were turkeys. Macaroni an’ cheese. They...

Read More