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January 17, 2017

  • Serving Indy’s Southside Since 1928
  • BEECH GROVE
  • CENTER GROVE
  • GREENWOOD
  • SOUTHPORT
  • FRANKLIN & PERRY TOWNSHIPS
Torry’s Top Ten: Reasons you’ll give up on New Year’s resolutions
Jan12

Torry’s Top Ten: Reasons you’ll give up on New Year’s resolutions

Top ten reasons you’ll give up on that New Year’s resolution by Torry Stiles 10. Golden Corral is run by demons. Yes. We know. 9. You resolved to be more supportive of the kid’s sports activities but, yes, he really does stink up the field, so….. 8. Calling yourself an outlaw doesn’t exempt you from being civil with your in-laws. 7. Yes, those bicycle helmets are expensive and uncomfortable but...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Resolutions for 2017
Jan05

Torry’s Top Ten: Resolutions for 2017

Top ten resolutions I am willing to make for 2017 by Torry Stiles 10. Stop wearing my Superman pajamas while walking the dogs and wearing my glasses. The neighbor kid may figure out the whole Clark Kent thing. 9. Use the word, “oodles” more often. 8. Refrain from saying, “I love you,” to the counter help at Long’s Donuts. 7. Find more time to truly appreciate how much everyone else should truly appreciate...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Failed New Year’s resolutions
Dec29

Torry’s Top Ten: Failed New Year’s resolutions

Top ten failed New Year’s resolutions from last year by Torry Stiles 10. Ride the Hillary bus right into the White House. 9. Stop reminding folks that The Southside Times office is just across the street from Hooters. 8. Get me a new truck so folks will stop whistling the Sanford & Son theme song every time I drive up. 7. Get used to doing without the donations of food and petroleum products that folks leave in my old truck...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Strangest ways to make Santa’s naughty list
Dec22

Torry’s Top Ten: Strangest ways to make Santa’s naughty list

Top ten strangest ways folks made Santa’s Naughty List this year by Torry Stiles 10. Passed Hillary’s email password to the Russians. 9. You saw the new Star Wars movie on opening day and promptly posted everything about it on Facebook. 8. I spent all week craving a dozen fresh Long’s donuts – step up to the door – only to see you leaving with the last two dozen. 7. Your turn signal has been on for five...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Holiday Tardiness Excuses

Top ten excuses you could use for holiday tardiness. by Torry Stiles 10. These holiday hours have me all messed up. What month are we on? 9. Wife said I didn’t have to get her anything fancy for Christmas… So I didn’t. … I’m afraid to go home. 8. Southport cops don’t see the humor in a naked guy running down Madison Avenue singing about his jingle bells. 7. High winds ruined neighborhood decorations...

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