Print Edition

August 29, 2016

  • Serving Indy’s Southside Since 1928
  • BEECH GROVE
  • CENTER GROVE
  • GREENWOOD
  • SOUTHPORT
  • FRANKLIN & PERRY TOWNSHIPS
Torry’s Top Ten: Will Rogers Quotes 22
Aug25

Torry’s Top Ten: Will Rogers Quotes 22

Top ten recent Will Rogers quotes were he alive today (Volume 22) by Torry Stiles 10. “I’ve always been a Democrat….. Sometimes against my will but still a Democrat.” 9. “The weather here just ain’t been right lately. They say it’s ’cause the jet stream keeps movin’ around. That ol’ stream is leavin’ a bunch of us up the creek.” 8. “These smart phones and...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Increasing Indiana State Fair attendance
Aug18

Torry’s Top Ten: Increasing Indiana State Fair attendance

Top ten ways to increase attendance at the Indiana State Fair by Torry Stiles (Dear readers – It seems the State Fair is hurting in the attendance department. They’ve been cancelling scheduled events in an effort to save some money. With only a few days left here are my suggestions to put them back over the top.) Voluntary juvenile jail cells for parents needing some time out from parenting. Several dunk tanks with...

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Torry’s Top Ten: New Olympic Games
Aug11

Torry’s Top Ten: New Olympic Games

Top ten new Olympic events I might have a chance with by Torry Stiles Grocery bag weight-lifting to avoid making two trips. Competitive napping. Non-synchronized swimming. Ham ball. De-cat the lawn. (“Shoo, kitty! Shoo!) Speedscaping. (Fastest weed-whacker on the Southside) Mixed-doubles tinnitus. Catching Pokemon while driving. Long’s Donuts speed-eating. Top ten list...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Back to School So Soon
Aug04

Torry’s Top Ten: Back to School So Soon

Top ten reasons we need to stop sending kid’s back to school so soon by Torry Stiles Kids are already clueless about rotary phones and 8-track tapes and but now we will have to explain what we mean by “summer camp.” Parents have less time to pilfer school supplies from their offices. As if pimples and puberty weren’t bad enough without worrying about pit stains and sweaty feet. Silly me. Never mind. I just love...

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Torry’s Top Ten: Those people your mother warned you about
Jul28

Torry’s Top Ten: Those people your mother warned you about

Top ten signs that you may be one of those people your mother warned you about by Torry Stiles Store Santas go on break as soon as you show up. What you thought was a fancy pattern on your dishware is actually mold. The repo guy is on a first-name basis with your supervisor. The “Feel the Bern” tattoo itches. You’re on the “Barred List” at Toys-R-Us. Other people are greeted with, “Welcome to...

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