Top ten thoughts as I await the first snow of the season
by Torry Stiles
10. I checked the family emergency kit. Hot chocolate mix, wine coolers, M&M’s…. and a flashlight. We’re good.
9. Even the snootiest cat in the herd is friendly today. They must’ve seen the weather report.
8. Hmmmmm…. NASCAR tires have more tread than what’s on my truck…. Eh. I’ll be fine. I’ll work on my dirt track skills.
7. Weatherman says it’ll snow. I’m gonna go sit in Kroger’s parking lot and watch all the panicky people rush the bread and milk aisles.
6. I’ve got Porkrinds (my pet pig, for those of you who are new here) on a diet. I’m trying to get her belly at least two inches off the ground so she can go out when we get an inch of snow.
5. New Southside Times contest: overnight temperature down to 20 degrees. How many cars will be on the shoulder of 465 between US31 and Emerson? Closest guess wins a free lunch courtesy of Wendell Fowler.
4. Hmph…. out of sidewalk salt.
3. Hmph…. out of regular Morton’s, too.
2. When will Southern Plaza bring back the frozen car contest?
1. I don’t care if it’s snowing. No Christmas lights until after Thanksgiving!