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December 21, 2014

  • Serving Indy’s Southside Since 1928
  • BEECH GROVE
  • CENTER GROVE
  • GREENWOOD
  • SOUTHPORT
  • FRANKLIN & PERRY TOWNSHIPS

Indispensable protein

Patriotic American lemmings have been trained to eat the biggest, reddest, greasiest, bloodiest slab-o-meat no less than three times daily, “… if not, you’re a Commie!” The Western Hemisphere is obsessed with protein; more is mistakenly perceived as better, macho; a symbol of prosperity, so “Don’t dis my meat, dude!” This concern is misplaced. Although protein is unquestionably essential in the way our temple functions, humans don’t...

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Torry's top ten things the Democrats are doing while boycotting State legislature

10. Kegger! 9. Total makeover – starting with a decent pedicure. 8. Stock up on free Holiday Inn towels, soaps and shampoos. 7. Karaoke with the folks from MSNBC. 6. Using the hotel lobby phone to crank call FOX News. 5. Rack up the bonus points on their credit cards. Another week of this and we’re goin’ to Reno! 4. All-night Yahtzee marathon at the Peoria Days Inn with the Teamster lobbyists. 3. Work on that “Get out the Vote”...

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A few clicks to change life as we know it

Okay, so Watson the Computer wins on Jeopardy and the next thing you know, the Weird Wide Web is full of doomsday predictions about the age of the machine being upon us and other such malarkey. Let us pause to reflect. For one thing, the age of the machine has been upon us for a good long time, beginning with the first time man decided to stop doing his calculations on fingers and toes — his own and, in cases involving sums...

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Why do people put themselves through this?

I didn’t eat for half the day last Sunday and had no interest in doing so. It wasn’t until about 2 p.m. that I finally ate a small lunch because, until that point, I had still been full from consuming what seemed like half a cow the night before. For most of Sunday, I was feeling the effects of my trip to Bub’s Burgers and Ice Cream in Carmel, where I took on the Big Ugly – the restaurant’s famed one-pound burger. But this is more...

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I’m 51 … and I’m right there with the gulls

We are princesses from totally different planets- her planet, of course, being the more upscale, socially acceptable one. And my planet is across the tracks, on the messy side of the universe. She is a treasured friend who makes me laugh like crazy. But we are so different from each other… She’s a decorator and I am not. She’s athletic. I’m not. She is the queen of domestic everything… I am … well … not. She actually goes to bed at...

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