What’s the true cost of eating the typical American diet; a witch’s brew of heartrending, wallet-busting diseases, and incapacitating obesity? No one possesses the stones however, to cop to the naked fact that we support the health care crisis with our unfocused dietary choices; pure and simple. Food illiteracy simmered with our Read the rest of this entry →
10. To hone our spider-killing skills.
9. Somebody has to remind us not to have beer for breakfast.
8. All our kids would be named after football players or an old family pet.
7. Without them there would be no Victoria Secret posters at the mall.
6. They smell nicer than the guy on the next bar stool.
5. Otherwise the grocery store florists would all be out of work.
4. We look silly when we dance with other guys.
3. The toilet paper is in the hall closet.
2. Somebody has to have the final decision on the boxer vs. briefs controversy.
1. Without them we’d be back in the jungle swinging through the trees.
No doubt you have been wondering why a fellow such as me – handsome, urbane, talented and, most of all, deluded, would choose to spend his Octobers bouncing around on a wagon full of straw, indulging my inner agriculturalist, talking to people about farming. Read the rest of this entry →
I know that headline is going to get some people upset, even before they know what I’m discussing. There’s a clear dislike on the South side for this affluent city to the north. Some of it is justified. Some of it isn’t, and some of it’s probably football related in the Center Grove area. Read the rest of this entry →
Years ago, I watched in awe as other kids took their sweet time lacing up shoes, eating all the food on their plates, getting ready for bed. Those kids were frequently accused of “lollygagging around.”
Not me. Not ever. Read the rest of this entry →
Southport taxpayers won’t see a city increase in taxes next year because of an official’s error. Clerk-Treasurer Cathy Hildebrand informed the city council that she had missed several deadlines in creating the 2011 budget. She apologized, saying: “I simply dropped the ball in meeting certain requirements for creating our 2011 budget.”
That means the city next year will be using this year’s budget. “Southport residents will not experience the automatic local property tax increase next year as is typical with a new budget increase levy,” Hildebrand stated.
“The 2011 budget cycle is my first experience in preparing Southport’s city budget. Unfortunately, several recent deadlines were missed.” she said. “Because of these circumstances, the opportunity to create a new budget for this coming year has passed.” Read the rest of this entry →
When the family’s 11-year-old mutt died three weeks ago, she and her husband Jonathon didn’t think they would ever want another four-legged family member, said Laura Rupel of Franklin. But that was before they attended a recent Thursday evening adoption party at the Humane Society of Johnson County. And that was before they fell in love at first sight with Daisy. “We saw that shaggy face and she was perfect,” Laura Rupel said with a smile.
With her four children in tow- four extremely excited little children- Rupel stepped into the Humane Society to claim the family’s newest member. “The kids have been waiting,” she said with a grin. Read the rest of this entry →
About 1629, both apple seeds and trees were brought to America by John Endicott, an early governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Johnny Appleseed promoted apples as he carried seeds with him wherever he traveled; planting then in thinly settled parts of the country; mostly for distilling strong-drink. The first apple pie was reputed to have been baked at Valley Forge. In mythology and folklore, apples were a means to immortality; an emblem of fruitfulness; an offering in suitor contests; a means of divination and a magical cure. In 2010 America, the noble apple remains sovereign. Read the rest of this entry →
10. Nothing sells cookies better than dancing, chanting Girls Scouts.
9. It was a real nice phone but I refuse to fetch it out of the Port-A-Potty.
8. If the ladies at the beauty parlor would open the second-floor windows then I think we can fit a log flume ride in there for next year.
7. I hold the world record in funnel-cake-eating-while-strolling-down-Main-Street-with-a-sweet-tea-and-two-corndogs. Call the folks at Guinness.
6. I don’t like corn on the cob but I love to smell it on the grill.
5. It’s okay to lie when approached by the guy selling gutter covers.
4. A big dill pickle from a big glass jar is one of the ten greatest pleasures in life.
3. Leashes and muzzles should be mandatory … but the Child Protection Service frowns on the practice.
2. It is impossible to clap with the music while eating a pulled pork sandwich and drinking a large iced tea… well, not impossible … just a bad idea.
1. You know something is wrong when the Liberty Insurance people have better freebies than the Republicans or Democrats.